Stone Circles

Nynke May 15th, 2006

In some form or another, everyone on Earth (and other planets as well I presume) is doing his, her, or its thing to become happy, in his, her or its own way.

Mr. and Mrs. Tonality may be slaving away in jobs or consulting gigs that they perhaps don’t like that much. Actually, they dislike what they are doing tremendously. But, for the potential gain later, they put up with a lot of unhappiness in their current life. Why on Earth would people do that?

Because they want to earn enough to have a retirement that they hope will eventually bring them happiness?

If so, these people may have cast spells on them selves, and neither Mr. Tonality nor Mrs. Tonality may get there. They may be dead before their time of happiness arrives to be consumed, perhaps because of being so unhappy in their current lives. Happiness and Unhappiness may affect our health through our immune system. Or, if they do manage to get to retirement without loss of life, their bodies may be too old (limited in its capabilities) to enjoy all the stuff they envisioned they could do once they got there …

Another example.

Mrs. and Mr. Vanity spend hours and hours perfecting (their looks) to make them selves attractive enough to find that perfect partner that will be everything they always wanted from “other”, in hopes of finally living a happy life.

Mr. and Mrs. Vanity may actually be training them selves to be unhappy with them selves. Such a training may require never finding an acceptable “other”. Meaning, may require finding fault with “others” to make them a workable image of “unhappy” selves. No body will be “beautiful” enough.

The word “happiness” can be used in a variety of ways. And in its widest sense can conjure up a Universe of all that is Good and/or Beautiful. This meaning makes it possible to use it interchangeably with “well-being” or “quality of life”, including individual and social welfare.

Sadly, assigning “Good” and “Beautiful” seems to suggest the existence of one ultimate Good or Beauty, thereby disguising differences between individuals and context.

A lot of people don’t seem to let themselves be happy and if we aren’t open to experiencing the smallest of things in the now, we’re not going to be happy. Degrees of happiness are attainable. Deeply felt happiness, the quiet kind, is only attainable once things have been resolved on this Earth.

So I intend using the word “happiness” in a more limited sense of subjective enjoyment of life:

Happiness is the degree to which an individual judges the overall quality of his/her life, as a (w)hole positively.

Within this more limited concept I can easily distinguish two main “parts”. A part representing the degree to which en-joy-able affects dominate, and a part representing perceived realization of wants.

These two parts then can be named “affective” resp. “cognitive” quality of life, and as subtotals in evaluations of life named “overall happiness”.

With this concept, all variations of “happiness” can be measured by asking questions. And affective levels can be assessed by observations of, for example, (Satir) Stances and Parts Parties.

As “it” happens, both these measurables and observables can be used in systems thinking for finding your own interventions to increase your “happiness” on this Earth.

How satisfied are you with your life as a (w)hole these days?

Are you truly happy …. deep inside?

Do you count your blessings?

Do people you “don’t know” smile at you a lot?

Have you experienced the silence of inner peace and happiness (yet)?

affective, cognitive, diagram of effects, good, happiness, joy

• people & systems