Expressing our selves
Nynke May 22nd, 2006
When we find it difficult to reflect on our feelings we are likely to express our unresolved emotions in thoughtless actions, or we may hide in superrational stances, to deny our emotions life, and to be heard by us. Only judged emotions that are considered safe can be expressed.
Unresolved emotions can be expressed in many ways, for example in poetry, music, and imagery. If we feel reluctant to share such work with others, we probably have an unconscious feeling of guilt. Our fear is preventing us from seeing and showing our true Self. We possess deep, inner knowledge, and are afraid to live and/or express it because we fear judgement from our selves and others.
When we don’t dance the Five Freedoms, insecurities rule our life.
When we are conscious of such awarenesses, we can come to our own aid. For example, we can (learn to) express our selves with our entire personality, while we (learn to) be in true silence and listening to others with open heart and understanding.
Our speech will become imaginative and colorful, and our voices full and melodious (again). We can say “No” if that is what we truly want to say. We do not let our selves be defined by other people’s perceptions, we maintain our independence, freedom, and self-determination. We receive guidance from our inner voice. And we can freely pass on the knowledge of what we learned to others without fear of (re)actions and conflicting opinions from others. We can dance the Five Freedoms of Virginia Satir, and more …
Believing in the unlimited potential of individuality we receive action-able self-confidence for building expansive professional optimism.
For more, check out the article “Inner Babble” by my esteemed colleague Rick Brenner … an article expressing some (un)known babbles that may be harmful, and some that may be stimulating for expanding professional optimism, so we can more consciously choose for our selves which voices to listen to, and which voices may best be ignored in a particular context.
diagram of effects, expressions, five freedoms, independence, self determination
What graphic tool are you using to create those diagrams?
Mostly mind and imagination visualisation in parts party (Nynke Fokma), then Inkscape and Gimp when working with Kwetal (Ubuntu Linux), and Visio and Photoshop when working with Urgje (XP M$).
Nynke,
I really liked this entry - especially the drawing.
I was wondering though if you speak trully to another and are heard does the arrow really go back to feeling bad?
Pat
Pat, thank you ever so much for the kind words and feedback.
Would this change work?
Nynke,
I like the addition. Do you?
Pat
Pat,
I do, very much so. It gives away (makes explicit) a first simple intervention for helping/facilitating self and each other.
Encouragement can take on many forms. A short snapshot from the last two weeks: providing space and time for someone to express themselves (someone may be self, life, or other), or a paint kit, audio visual tools, a balancing act, meditations, articles like Rick’s Inner Babble, an email from Emmanuel, Ron, Marc, Bernard, Raphael, or Stiles, music or a phone call from Willem, a chat with Maroesja, a skype call with Lynne, sessions and exchanges at consultants camp, feedback on blog entries like what you just gave me, … … …?
Much appreciated!
Love,
Nynke
[…] When we stifle our selves by judging our “whining”, we stifle our higher selves listening to our deeper selves, and we will never discover the needs of self, life, and others we have been and are overlooking. If we do allow our selves some “whining”, and (with some help or not) truly listen to our selves when we do that we can learn to channel lower energies by which we become more effective at channelling our higher energies. […]
Hi Nynke,
in the May 30th version of the diagrams it says ‘feelings of guit’. Should be ‘feelings of guilt’. Misspelling it does make it more stand out
.
I hope the diagram doesn’t feel guilty after the fear that comes from showing its’ true self
Love,
Willem
Hi Willem,
Apparently the diagram doesn’t feel guilt. It does seem to harbor some feelings of regret that it isn’t perfect (yet). So it is using your feedback to “get closer” to express it’s true self more perfectly clear
Actually, the diagram seems to feel encouraged by the personal interest you seem to take in it, for apparently you find it worthy of your feedback.
[…] Focus: Expressing ourselves and truly listening to each other’s whining while sipping wine or beer. […]
[…] If we were to call each other stupid for not seeing what is obvious to the other, we would both be stupid. If obvious exclamations are interpreted as saying others are stupid, the perceiver of that stupidness already felt stupid for that could be named “projection”. Has nothing to do with our obvious exclamations as a result from sudden insights. These stupidities could all lead to stifling and no body wins. […]
[…] This then could mean upper management will not take responsibility and the company becomes a headless body and upper management a mad stakeholder, using budgets for powerplays more than for useful resource distribution for moving forward. […]
[…] Neck, throat, jaw, ears, voice, trachea, bronchial system, upper lungs, esophagus, arms (expressing our selves) […]
[…] When I write an entry, I don’t have to carry that what I have written about, inside me. It helps me to “let-go” of some things. I noticed this effect through a looking-glass, when it was enhanced by Willem setting up back-ups to back-up our server. My blog has truly become my journal. By blogging, I give myself a powerful form of self-expression, and through that expression I can gain clarity, release, and relief. And sometimes that takes me rewriting an entry several times. […]
[…] Knowing this, (re)cognizing this, the hard part of the work has already been done. We can choose to experiment with intervening in our own “happiness” under safe conditions. In safe settings (and we determine for our selves when and where that is) we can choose to open our selves up towards others (again), in particular others of the “opposite” sex. We can learn the dance of creation and enjoy the flow of energies these dances can create in us. […]