Stone Circles

Nynke June 1st, 2006

If I am to embody the change I wish to see in the world, I believe it best to not play “divide and conquer”, or any other non-expansive political game, to play “divide and unite” instead, and to, when I can not divide and unite in a particular context for a particular purpose, admit that to myself as well as that I am (only) human. I can let go, learn from all the mistakes I perceive were made, be they mine, yours, our students’, our teachers’ mistakes, or those wyrd learnings taught by stepping into the unknown, and then renew with the newly acquired knowledge, so that I can serve my purpose of expansive professional optimism in another context more effectively.

Kevin Rutherford writes in one size fits none:

Mary Poppendieck suggests that the nay-sayers should be disenfranchised, pushed out into the corridor while the rest get on with whole-hearted enthusiatic agile adoption. Presumably because that’s the cheapest option in both the long and short term. These lost souls will then either leave (she hopes) or try to change things back, or snipe and spit from the sidelines. Only the first of these presents a win-win opportunity, but surely it doesn’t have to be done that way? Is it just possible that those folks actually have something valuable to contribute as the organisation moves forward?

People that “oppose” in the way described in Kevin’s article are likely to feel their needs have been or are being overlooked by us or by (executive) management. That can possibly spell “incongruency”, for apparently “opposers” are overlooking our needs for collaboration. And they may not feel incentive to collaborate with us, or may not share our willingness to trust management, possibly with good reason. Also, bridging by thought may not be what it seems?

For certain I do not wish to conquer. Sorry, but I have other, more enjoyable things to do in, and with my life. And having conquerer, or that I want (to control) everything projected on me can be confusing and alarming. Such projections are about the “projector”, not about me.

Sorcered spells like this can only have effect on me if I let such opposer perceptions define me. Allowing the spell to have its intended effect, I would be incongruent with my self, I would not be authentic, and would likely end up in a downward spiral. Instead, I can focus beyond the spells being cast and on the possible overlooked needs of the “opposing” other.

Photo by Lalallallala

Asking questions seems to work. And answers often reveal interesting hidden information about a local context. Information that may immediately be useful, or likely to become useful in some future.

Some co-creating systems diagrams with “opposers” may reveal even more jewels mired in the muck. We may realize these people may actually know what they are talking about, and apparent “oppositions” may transform into “problems that can easily be solved”.

This approach, asking questions and sorting out causes and effects of perceived problems together can be named “divide and unite”: First we allow for individual differences, and then we unite by collaboration and finding our way out together.

This strategy can be supported by a number of tactics addressing problems found/brought up. For instance, providing transparent measurements and curve fitting for a particular context and purpose can effectively supplant big design up front. It also supports embracing the core of agile business development: a willingness to trust management processes Walking Talk and Talking Walk. And all of this to serve our customers and users more successfully for the assumed larger purpose, expansive professional optimism. That is congruent.

As Kevin writes, many questions may be asked:

What forces created an organisation whose strategy is heading one way (towards agility) while some of its staff actively oppose that strategy? Was someone being less than authentic when the hiring was done? Or has someone in a leadership position learned something that ultimately will require a different workforce? Useful to know the difference when attempting to instigate change…

Opposition may be the result of some kind of suppression. Suppressed “opposers” can hide a deep inner knowledge, and asking questions may be too confronting. We can trust their instincts and intuition as well as our own, and take a closer look at the local context. Do we perceive any signals or assess any arcs that could signify a possibly suppressive environment? Likely we will. Things like accountability and responsibility for tasks may not be balanced. Managers may be given responsibilities but not the budget to do it. Believe me, that is hard to balance. Very hard.

And sadly to say so, some people seem to get stuck in playing political power games. Like with an addiction. Gimme a next quick fix! I punch you to feel better about my self. Or I divide others and then go watch the show. On occasion, we may encounter whining and rebellion as a result of that.

Virginia Satir named being in a subconscious state this way being in a “family trance”. It’s when we play paintapes in our Turing Machine. Family trances come in all shapes and sizes. Some things that were buried deep beneath our consciousness may actually be running our show.

Reactive people may be acting subconsciously, yet this does not mean that their moves are not smart. They just don’t seem to know how smart they really are (yet). Personally I can highly recommend this same state without pain tapes. Innocence is a wonderful state to be in. The very best for experiencing vibrating silence and wondering.

In my Satir training I have learned some more mirroring in responsive and non-reactive (action-able) ways. Also, besides from actual sports, I learned some mental aikido from my family and from Jerry. My inclinations, choice of family, druidic and other spiritual explorations, and (biker) lifetimes were and are helpful too for building and maintaining my self-esteem and self-confidence. With self-esteem and self-confidence, spells cast on me can not just take on form in me. I protect me.

If and when I seem to be about to be attacked by an “opposer”, I can give explicit and fair warning that I do not like being used as punching bag, and if and when actually attacked, I can choose to practice some of my mental aikido on the poor souls attacking me (it makes for some excellent exercise).

And some people can appear so deeply stuck in unhealthy patterns that calling in our clinical Satir sisters and brothers may seem a good idea (if only that were ever asked for) … these people are simply beyond my professional interests and purpose.

mirroring, needs, respect

• people & systems